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Meditation: A F*cking Frustrating Circus (with ADHD, Yoga, and Life on the Road).

Updated: Oct 6

By Leslii Stevens ERYT500, YACEP, Ayurveda Practitioner


Leslii Stevens

Alright, let’s get real for a second: meditation is a pain in the ass. People make it look so serene, sitting there with their eyes closed, breathing like they’re in some peaceful alternate universe. Meanwhile, I’m over here battling my ADHD brain that’s doing backflips while trying to find a way out of this mental tornado. It’s like trying to calm a rock concert while I’m backstage dealing with all the chaos—and let me tell you, it’s f*cking frustrating.

Life on the Road: Meditation Meets the Blues

So here’s a fun twist: I learned to meditate and become a yoga teacher while on the road with a blues band. Yeah, you read that right. While most people were getting their zen on in some peaceful studio, I was out there juggling camera gear, shooting photos, and getting lost in a tour bus with a bunch of musicians. Talk about not the ideal meditation setting. Trying to find a moment of stillness while the band is cranking out tunes and the road’s vibrating underneath you? Yeah, not exactly peaceful. But that’s when I knew if I could meditate here, I could meditate anywhere.

It was rock 'n' roll on one side, downward dog on the other. I’d go from snapping photos of the band to trying to teach myself to breathe through the madness. Picture this: me on the bus, sitting cross-legged, trying to focus on my breath while everyone around me is yelling, guitars are screeching, and someone’s trying to find where the hell the next gig is. Yeah, total zen.



On the Road

ADHD Meditation: The Circus Act

Meditation with ADHD feels like trying to play a solo with broken strings. The second I close my eyes, it’s like my brain taps me on the shoulder and goes, “Oh hey, while you’re here, let’s think about every single thing we need to do!” The blues band soundtrack in the background didn’t help either. I’d be like, “Okay, breathe in, breathe out,” and then BAM! My brain’s like, “Oh hey, what’s that chord progression? Did you get that shot at the last show? Should you change your camera settings?” It’s a circus act, and I’m the main performer.

But here’s the kicker—I kept at it. Why? Because somewhere between the ADHD spirals and the blues grooves, I started to realize something: yoga and meditation were grounding me in a way nothing else could. I was learning to manage the chaos inside my head while living in literal chaos on the road. Each breath became a way to hit pause, even if just for a second.


Yoga: The Rock Star’s Best Friend

Yoga was the game-changer. It wasn’t just about sitting still (which, let’s be honest, wasn’t happening). Yoga gave me something physical to do, like my own private encore in the middle of the madness. And let me tell you, it worked. The moment I started moving through the poses, my ADHD brain had something to focus on that wasn’t a 3 a.m. bass solo or my latest panic attack. Suddenly, I was moving with the music of my body instead of fighting it.

Out on the road, I’d find a way to stretch and breathe wherever I could. Parking lot yoga? You bet. Hotel room handstands? Why not? Dressing room disasters. Oh yeah! It was my way of keeping my brain from going off the rails. And over time, those quick moments of movement started to bleed into my meditation practice. I could actually sit for a few minutes without my brain throwing a full-on rock concert inside my head.


Kenny Wayne Shepherd photo by Leslii Stevens


The Download Bundle: ADHD, Panic, and the Full Tour Package

Here’s where things get fun: not only do I have ADHD, but I’ve also got anxiety, panic attacks, and a side of depression. It’s like my brain came pre-packaged with a “tour bundle” of all the things I didn’t ask for. And every time I sit down to meditate, it’s like they all show up for the gig. “Oh, hey, let’s panic about breathing wrong! Why don’t we spiral into anxiety about everything? And while we’re at it, let’s throw in some existential dread for good measure!”

But guess what? Yoga and meditation have become my road crew. They help me tune in to what’s going on. Instead of fighting the noise, I’m learning to listen to it, ride the waves, and figure out what my body and mind are trying to tell me. ADHD, panic attacks, anxiety, depression—they’re all part of the same download, just packaged together like the world’s weirdest, most dysfunctional blues band. But I’m the lead act, and I’m learning how to work with them instead of against them.


Finding peace in the of middle Chicago

Wrapping Up the Show (And Trying Not to Lose My Mind, Before my Brain Wanders Off)

Here’s the thing: meditation is still f*cking hard—don’t get me wrong. I still sit down some days and feel like I’m fighting off a brain hurricane. But it’s different now. Now I have yoga, and now I know that each breath, each stretch, each minute of stillness (or chaos) is getting me closer to finding a little peace.

So yeah, life on the road with a blues band taught me a thing or two. Not just about music or photography, but about how to roll with the punches, breathe through the madness, and find some form of stillness even when the world’s a whirlwind.

I’m not here for the perfect zen moments. I’m here for the real ones. The ones where I’m fighting my brain, navigating ADHD, and still managing to show up every day. One breath at a time, one chaotic meditation at a time, and maybe a little rock star swagger along the way.

Here's to making it through the chaos—just like every good road tour. 🎸


So, Let's Rock this Planet, embrace the chaos, and and keep moving. Until next time-stay wicked cool and keep showing up.


Peace Out

Leslii



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