By Leslii Stevens, Trauma-Informed Yoga Teacher, ERYT500, YACEP,
Ayurveda Practitioner
Domestic violence isn’t just a headline we see in the news—it’s a harsh reality for too many people. It’s not limited to physical harm; emotional, psychological, and financial abuse can be just as damaging, leaving lasting scars. Whether it’s from a partner, friend, family member, co-worker or even a boss, abuse can feel like a weight that’s impossible to lift. But there is hope, and there is healing—sometimes in the most unexpected places, like a yoga mat.
As a trauma-informed yoga teacher, I’ve worked with survivors from all walks of life. I’ve witnessed firsthand how powerful yoga can be in helping people reconnect with their bodies, reclaim their breath, and start to rebuild the confidence that abuse has taken from them. My mission? To provide a safe space for those who have been through the darkest of times and help them rediscover their own strength, one breath at a time.
Sneaky Ways People Manipulate You
Abuse often takes subtle and manipulative forms, and these can be just as damaging as physical harm. It’s important to recognize the signs of manipulation, especially when it’s cloaked in affection or self-victimization. Here are 10 sneaky ways people manipulate you:
1. Love Bombing: Flooding you with affection to gain control, making you feel indebted to them.
2. Gaslighting: Twisting the truth to make you doubt your reality, convincing you that you’re wrong when you’re not.
3. Silent Treatment: Ignoring you to make you feel guilty or powerless, controlling the relationship by withholding communication.
4. Guilt Tripping: Making you feel responsible for their emotions and behavior, making it seem like their happiness is your job.
5. Playing the Victim: Always portraying themselves as the one who is wronged, drawing sympathy and avoiding responsibility for their actions.
6. Future Faking: Promising a bright future that never comes, keeping you stuck in false hope.
7. Triangulation: Using others to make you jealous or create competition, pitting people against each other for control.
8. Blame Shifting: Flipping the script and making you feel like you’re the problem, even when their behavior is the issue.
9. Withholding Affection: Using love as a weapon, giving or taking affection based on their needs, not yours.
10. Minimizing Feelings: Dismissing your emotions as overreactions, making you feel like you’re "too sensitive."
These tactics are designed to confuse you, make you feel powerless, and keep you in a cycle of dependence. Be mindful of manipulative people who paint themselves as victims, blame others, and refuse to take any responsibility for their wrongdoing. Don’t buy into their stories. Showing sympathy for them plays into their hand, leaving you feeling trapped.
Why Yoga?
Now, before you roll your eyes and think, “Yeah, right, like a Downward Dog is going to fix everything,” hear me out. Yoga is more than just stretching and contorting yourself into poses that make you look like a pretzel (although, that part is fun). It’s about reconnecting with your body and breath. For those who have experienced abuse, the body can often feel like the enemy—a place of pain, shame, or disconnection. Yoga helps us get back into our bodies in a way that feels safe and empowering.
Trauma-informed yoga, in particular, is designed to be sensitive to the needs of survivors. I don’t walk into a class expecting people to push themselves or reach for perfection. Instead, I encourage students to listen to their bodies and give themselves permission to take things at their own pace—whether that means holding a pose or simply sitting still and breathing.
A Safe Space to Heal
In my classes, I focus on creating a space where anyone who’s been through a rough relationship (or any form of abuse) feels safe to start healing. You won’t find judgment here—just compassion and support. Whether it’s helping domestic violence survivors or those who’ve experienced abuse from a coworker, boss, or even a close friend, I aim to help you rebuild from the inside out. There’s no rush to “fix” things; this is your journey, and I’m here to help guide you through it.
The Power of Breath and Movement
For those who have experienced trauma, especially at the hands of someone they once trusted, the idea of taking control of one’s own body can feel foreign. Abuse has a way of stealing that sense of control, leaving you feeling like you’re navigating life on autopilot. But with yoga, we start small—with just a breath. That’s right, one simple breath can be the key to grounding yourself, creating space between your past and your present, and slowly reclaiming your power.
We also explore gentle movements and poses that encourage a sense of grounding and strength. While I love a challenging pose now and then, when working with trauma survivors, we focus more on what feels right in the moment. It’s not about pushing through pain or discomfort; it’s about learning to trust yourself again.
My Work with Survivors
Working with domestic violence survivors, people dealing with PTSD, and those navigating the aftermath of toxic relationships is where my passion lies. As someone who’s experienced trauma firsthand, I know what it’s like to feel lost, scared, and uncertain of the future. But I also know that healing is possible—and sometimes, it starts with the smallest step.
Whether it's through private sessions, group classes, or specialized workshops, I offer guidance, support, and a safe place for people to explore their bodies and emotions without fear. Yoga has been life-changing for me, and I’m on a mission to share its healing power with anyone who’s ready to step out of the darkness and into their own light.
My Mission: Helping Survivors Reclaim Their Power
There’s a certain stereotype that yoga is all about peace, love, and light—and while that’s part of it, it’s also about grit. It’s about showing up for yourself even on the hardest days, breathing through the discomfort, and realizing that you are stronger than you ever imagined. My goal is to help survivors of abuse realize this strength within themselves.
Whether you’ve experienced abuse from a partner, a family member, a friend, or even a boss, my classes are a place where you can come to heal. You won’t just be stretching and bending—you’ll be reclaiming the parts of yourself that feel broken, finding your breath, and slowly rebuilding your trust in your body.
A Final Thought (and a Little Humor)
Now, I know this topic is heavy. But I promise, there’s always room for a little light, even in the darkest of times. Healing from trauma isn’t a straight line—it’s more of a zig-zag with a few loop-de-loops thrown in for fun. But I’m here with you, every step of the way. And hey, if we can’t laugh a little at the absurdity of life sometimes, then what’s the point, right?
Join Me on the Mat
If you or someone you know has been through the storm of abuse and is ready to start healing, I’m here. My yoga classes and workshops are designed for survivors like you, who are ready to reclaim their power and move forward, one breath at a time.
Let’s heal together—because you are stronger than you know.
with love & support
Leslii
Resources Are Available
National Domestic Violence Hotline:1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
Text "START" to 88788
For immediate safety, call 911